8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
