Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
