you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
