none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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