Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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