Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
