it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
