i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
