I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
two words: eviction party
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
