For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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