Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
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