i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
