I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
What drink are we having for lunch?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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