i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
