Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize