I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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