Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
