You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Randomize
