so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
