well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
