There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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