you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
