You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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