I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize