He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
