Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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