If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
