Yo dont text me then not text me
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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