Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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