You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
