My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
