it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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