We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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