yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
