i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Randomize
