butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
