she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Bring me that man meat
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
