Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize