becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
