He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
