Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize