Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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