He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
