remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
The air taste purple.
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