I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
