Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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