Umm I'm too high to move.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
