why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
