He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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