Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
