we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
