She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
