Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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