I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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