it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He passed out mid-signature
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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