I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
