you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
