we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
