I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
