IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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