What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
