I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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