Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
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