So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
