I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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