I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
the day after is always just damage control
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
