he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
