We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
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