so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
