As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
